hiatus

loved ones, please enjoy the archives, books, blogs and other goodies until nanowrimo has concluded (nov. 30 or thereabouts).

we may manage to scrape up some goodies between now and then, but no promises!

your loving proprietress,

~:~ ms. bliss ~:~

the last frontier

sista toldja talks about one of the most prevalent stigmas surrounding sistas and sex.

quickie!

shaker kiriamaya breaks down what's wrong with julie bindel and other transphobic folks.

a powerful time...

of course, tonight is halloween / all hallows eve / samhain.  

















tomorrow is all saints day.  the full moon falls on all souls day, november 2nd.

dia de los muertos celebrations are ongoing...

so many cultures coming together to celebrate the transitions and power in life and death.












we hope that you are reveling in the ancestral energy and taking time to give thanks to those who came before.  iba egungun!

what would sheela na gig do?

{if you're not familiar with sheela na gig, here ya go. in addition, the link directly below features a prominent shot of jewelry depicting anatomically correct labia.  click consciously.}

at first glance, this is comical.

on the other hand, it's yet another example of how nearly any statement of female beauty beyond "lips, hips and tits" can be made light of, or even backhandedly insulted. 

particularly intriguing were the comments by women who seemed all too ready to throw their own vulvas under the bus, but that's probably a whole other entry.

consider this passage:

Ladies..baby girls.. precious dolls. Please understand that what the Vagina IS, what it SYMBOLIZES, and what it DOES, is what’s truly beautiful! It is factually amazing from both an engineering, psychological and physiological stance! Women, your inner working are absolutely awe inspiring and never let a mufugga tell you otherwise...

And yes I know, Boo-Boo, many of you are going to step up and say some shyt like: “My man isn’t complaining so fugg you, you fat, milk-dud head, Mr. PoPo looking ass bitch!” Dammit girl, only thing your man is thinking of his how it feels when HIS OWN ugly ass genitals are up in yours. Be honest with yourself, baby, do you really think your man is going to be like:”Hey baby… your pussy looks like a roadside bomb.” NO… he isn’t. This is the same fool who lovingly lies to your ass when you ask him if you look fat in that new skirt, and ladies..if you’ve got to ASK, then yes you DO look fat in that new skirt. Shiiit, your man aint trying to lose pussy privileges even if it does look like your ovaries set off a low-grade nuke in your shyt.

If your vagina DOES look like one of these shyts here, STOP lying to yourself, baby-doll. Your shyt is not pretty, and it should NEVER be made into a piece of Jewelry. [emphasis added]

so...other than the fact that you did just tell us otherwise, you're saying you can respect a woman's inner workings as long as you don't have to deal with the outside ones? in that case, how are you pleasuring us--nay, do you really even know us--if you're unwilling to truly see our most intimate areas?

i would ask everyone calling genitals "ugly" to consider this question: what are the consequences of an aesthetic that does not recognize the inherent beauty of the parts which join to create us, bring us into the world, and through which we express love and affection?*
 

in the wake of the violent gang rape of a 15 year old richmond, california girl, these attitudes speak to so much more than bumping uglies {pun intended}.

during a lively twitter discussion, honey_shun rightly noted, "[these attitudes are] a thread in the fiber of the clothes worn by those who can stand by and watch the torment, rape and torture of a young girl..." a torment that has not just scarred her life, but the lives of at least four other youth as well.

obviously, we are not suggesting a direct connection between a fundamentally humorous blog entry and the richmond high school insanity, but it must be noted that he didn't choose to rant about the necklaces' horrible workmanship.

when women are not held up as beautiful and worthy, they can be knocked down as ugly and worthless--as the sum of their parts or for their parts.

when we can determine that the physical manifestation of the gateway to life is something that "should never be made into a piece of jewelry" {even as personal charm for the wearer, under her clothes; even if it is only worn during bleeding time; even if it is to rest on a personal, sacred space.  these options were never even considered or discussed...} we have lost sight of something precious and important.   

yonis are as varied and unique as the multitude of women who carry them.  every woman has a right to find herself beautiful and not have her uniqueness challenged by an immature lover. 

seems that anyone as old as slaus and 'nem ought to know better.    


*in whatever configuration, gender expression/sexuality notwithstanding.  although the reference to the biological process of conception obviously suggests hetero activity.

the word

poet shel silverstein understood that the minds of children hold some of the greatest insight to be found among us.  in honor of that understanding, today's word is his poem, "listen to the mustn'ts".

Listen to the MUSTN'TS, child.
Listen to the DON'TS
Listen to the SHOULDN'TS
The IMPOSSIBLES, the WON'TS
Listen to the NEVER HAVES
Then listen close to me--
Anything can happen, child,
ANYTHING can be.

write your bliss

november is national novel writing month!

and if you have any trouble, there's always write or die...

get busy, beauties!

quickie!

beyond marriage.org.  because it's time to shift the paradigm.

{thanks to nueva_voz for the link}

the word

today's word comes from saul williams' ...said the shotgun to the head.  an excerpt from the 4th chapter...

your dead ancestors
re-die
in air tight vaults

they conspire
to seduce your children

you have done nothing
to protect them
from the evil eye

i serve
a living God

she is a distorted horn solo
fingered by the hand
of a master

time's signature
has done no more
than punctuate
her curvature

giving up...is hard to do...

over the weekend, a friend told your author that he was "giving up" on black women. 

you've heard the reasons why--too many issues, too much pain.

the most interesting part of the conversation was when he referenced a conversation with a white woman.  apparently, she assumed he already only dated white women because, in her view, it would be difficult for him to find a black woman who shared his interests, tastes in music, aesthetic, etc.  

which got the wheels turning.  where do all the "different" black women go to find love?

in the hierarchy of difference, men of all races are hailed as trailblazers and mavericks when they flout convention and do their own thing. brothas can certainly be chastised for doing things outside of "real man" parameters or for not being "black enough", but that probably won't deplete their dating pool, only shift the demographic.

right underneath men on the dare-to-be-different scale are white women.  yes, there are the effects of sexism and the pressure of embodying (or not) the epitome of beauty in a culture founded on the notion of white supremacy.  white women are indeed asked to fit into many boxes.

but, because of their whiteness, they are also allowed to break free from--or are not as heavily penalized for ignoring--those boxes in a way that colored women have to seriously think about.  again, being seen as different, weird, or a glowstick carrier does not impact a white woman's dating choices.  just shifts the demographic.

and then we have the quirky black ladies: uniquely minded black women who, typically, do not have asian and white men knocking down their doors, nor do we go looking for them. 

all too often, open minded sistas can become exhibits, fascinations; lofty empresses solely responsible for the evolution (or failure) of their kingmen.  in other words, this is the realm where having locs and enjoying bacon is not allowed.

does the goddess-loving black woman have a fully present, reflective partner who shares her interests and dreams?  does the long-loc'ed empress have a mate who doesn't hide his affections behind some palatable, pretty form of patriarchy?  are there men she doesn't need to minister to, but who can fall in step and meet her where she is?

...and if she does, has he already "given up" on finding her?

does any of it even matter?