taking care of business

recently, a three year old article linking oral sex to throat cancer resurfaced and got twitter all aflutter. 

without repeating some of the ridiculousness that emerged in our timelines, here's a summary of what's known:

there are about 100 different strains of HPV, and exposure is common. out of those 100 strains, about 30 can be sexually transmitted, but not all of these lead to what we commonly think of as herpes or cancerous cells.

one way to reduce risk of transmission during vaginal oral sex is to use a dental dam. about.com has some basic instructions on how to make one. for fellatio, condoms are helpful, but not as effective as they are for preventing some other STIs, as the epigee article points out.*

so, enjoy your dessert...but do so responsibly.

take care, beloveds!


*as always, we remind you that we aren't doctors/nurses/etc...just sharing information as we find it.  check in with a trusted health care provider/professional as needed for the best, most current information.

quickie!

interesting article on sex surrogates, detailing how they can work with psychotherapists, psychologists and other counselors to help and heal sexual issues.

we also enjoyed the nod to the international professional surrogates association, which we'll add to the "serious side" sidebar.

thanks to sexis magazine for the tweet that led to this post!

the insanity of rape culture

although we mentioned it very briefly, we didn't want this gem to get lost in the shuffle.

the insanity report practically drips testosterone on a normal day {not that there's anything wrong with that}, but this analysis of jason whitlock's dangerously inept defense of a football player accused of sexual assualt is spot on.

the sugar shack gives props to brothas who get it, especially knowing that sometimes they're the only voices folks like whitlock listen to.

thanks, y'all.

for more on rape culture, see here, here and here

sensual kemet

check this out!

{relatively work safe...material made for tv. found via twitter.}

quickie!

once again, bianca's dropping jewels in her newest article: "what do we know about open relationships?"

10 things you didn't know about orgasm

...or did you?

{if you're not familiar with the TED series, i enthusiastically suggest checking it out. lots of WONDERFUL information!}

quickie!

now we can add the linger mint to the list of things that are wrong with your vagina!

you know, besides the fact that you have one of those icky things in the first place.

and, here comes a collective sigh in 3...2...1...

love for haiti / amor pour ayiti

yanvalou dance from haiti...celebrating the rada nation



to learn more about how you can help haiti, see the help haiti/aidez ayiti section that's been added to the sidebar at the top left of the screen.  

vive l'ayiti! l'union fait la force!

be a g, redux

looks like the daily beast has chimed in on the alleged g spot controversy.

we'll just quote the illustrious lady bi on this one:

i'm SO over this g-spot research stuff. i get why it may matter to some docs, but why do we always have to theorize/pathologize our pleasure? when will we realize our bodies are not all the same and get over it? if we find pleasure in our bodies in ways docs don't understand, good!

sexy news

so where are all the scandalous women? alternet seeks answers.

single and "of a certain age"? check out this newsweek article.

empowerher gives some suggestions for making a toast to love in 2010.

you can't buy love, but apparently you can choose it. agree or disagree?

quickie!

makeda voletta talks about the power of the menstrual cycle on the powerful women only show.

switch it up

let's chat a bit about the infamous switch, shall we?

...hold on, now.  for those of you about to run out of the post screaming, we're not gettin' into grandma goin out to the backyard or any s&m type stuff.*

we're talking about movement.



how many of you grew up being admonished for switchin', sashayin', puttin' your hands on your imagination, et cetera?

for those who took that advice to heart, how many of you have experienced lower back, knee, or hip pain as adults?

what some of our mamas and grandmamas didn't know is that the muscles that rotate your hips also influence the alignment of the muscles in the rest of your leg. furthermore, tight hamstrings can pull on your pelvic muscles, causing lower back issues.  any good massage therapist knows that if a client comes in complaining about lower back issues, it's a good idea to check out their legs and hips first.

still wanna stop switchin'?

traditionally, african women have wide hips and large backsides.  when we walk, we sway.  our indigenous dances incorporate all kinds of hip, glute, and core muscle isolations.

put another way: we naturally shake our asses.





when we don't allow fluidity in our movement, we lock up our energy, we lock up our unique beauty, and we lock up our spirits. consider the persistence of cervical and breast cancers, heart disease, fibroids, and chronic pain in our communities, and what parts of the body these dis-eases are targeting.

so, as you consider your own healing journey, don't forget to put that wiggle back in your step. your knees, back, and spirit will thank you.**





*not that there's anything wrong with s&m.  we're kink-friendly.  but you'll have to work out the grandma issues on your own.  unfortunately, she and her strong whuppin hand are beyond the scope of this blog...

**and if your mama bought you a hula hoop instead of fussing, more power.

sexy news

from the guttmacher institute, a wealth of information on healthy sexuality: relationships, intimacy and sexual behavior.

the huffington post speaks out on the double victimization of girls in the juvenile justice system.

america shows her puritan roots just in time for thanks-taking.

and, last but not least, lothario victory in korea!

quickie!

beyond marriage.org.  because it's time to shift the paradigm.

{thanks to nueva_voz for the link}

sexy news

another protestant split on the horizon? lutherans debating possibility of gay clergy...

let's all show the condom some love. {for the latex sensitive, oyin has done some footwork for you}

hiv is tragic for an asian family...

a therapist offers some tips for life after divorce.

playing with fire

porn is one thing. and just about everyone loves a good parody.

but this {link not work safe} not the cosbys thing seems to be crossing a line...

the least they could have done was consider a parody of a show where all the characters are grown folks, e.g. sanford and son or roc.

aren't there already enough "teen" porn sites out there?

do we really need to play with the idea of pedophilia when childhood sexual abuse is rampant?

is this dangerous in a culture where, even in the 21st century, no one wants to talk about effective, comprehensive, age-appropriate sex education?

we're all for grown folks having grown folks fun, but this feels like something very, very different.

the kegel post!

all right, ladies. by now we hope that you're all familiar with the {in}famous kegel exercises.

but just in case, remember when you were little and you discovered you could stop the flow of your pee? that's a kegel.

more scientifically:

The aim of Kegel exercises is to fortify muscle tone by strengthening the pubococcygeus muscles of the pelvic floor. Kegel is a popular prescribed exercise for pregnant women to prepare the pelvic floor for physiological stresses of the later stages of pregnancy and vaginal childbirth. Kegel exercises are said to be good for treating vaginal prolapse and preventing uterine prolapse in women and for treating prostate pain and swelling resulting from benign prostatic hyperplasia (BPH) and prostatitis in men. Kegel exercises may be beneficial in treating urinary incontinence in both men and women. Kegel exercises may also increase sexual gratification.

so, basically, kegels can...

• help ease childbirth;
• keep all your lady parts in the right places by strengthening the pelvic floor, which holds up everything from your uterus and bladder to part of your intestines;
• and assist in increasing your sex goddess potential.

your vagina, like most parts of your body, contains muscles. fortunately for us, they're voluntary muscles that can be strengthened and controlled.

about.com has a great how-to blurb for kegels. for more tactile learners, devices such as jade eggs, and ben-wa balls can be helpful. experiment during a session with your favorite dildo/vibe.

{one note about ben-wa balls - go for high quality ones made of pure, non-coated stainless steel or natural stones/gems, particularly if you're prone to vaginal irritation and/or urinary tract infections.}

finally, always remember to consider the energetic implications of conditioning a particular area of the physical body. the reproductive organs are part of the root chakra, and their relative illness/wellness can be an indication of how safe, grounded and connected you feel in all areas of your life.

have a great workout!



big thanks to see line woman for suggesting this topic!

love your body campaign

a cause after our own heart, the love your body campaign seeks to rage against plastic surgery and airbrushed photo machines by encouraging women to love themselves.

Hollywood and the fashion, cosmetics and diet industries work hard to make each of us believe that our bodies are unacceptable and need constant improvement. Print ads and television commercials reduce us to body parts — lips, legs, breasts — airbrushed and touched up to meet impossible standards. TV shows tell women and teenage girls that cosmetic surgery is good for self-esteem. Is it any wonder that 80% of U.S. women are dissatisfied with their appearance?

Women and girls spend billions of dollars every year on cosmetics, fashion, magazines and diet aids. These industries can't use negative images to sell their products without our assistance.

Together, we can fight back.

there's also an awesome poster contest that ties into the love your body calendars.

quickie!

a new kind of public service announcement: i am a sex worker.

learn more at sex work awareness.org.

make earth day sexy

{no, you didn't miss anything. it's postdated!}

turn your moon cycle into an eco-friendly experience! use a keeper/moon cup, diva cup, or check out lunapads--all of which are featured in the goodies sidebar for your convenience.

you can even recycle your old toys. who knew? check out bianca's post here.