au revoir

greetings, beloveds!

you may have noticed that your loving proprietress has been scarce lately.  as has happened before, life has a way of getting in the way...even in wonderfully juicy spaces such as this.  however, it may take a little longer than usual to get back into the swing of things this time. 

this blog is inactive, but don't worry--we won't change a thing. all the links, sidebars, and post archives will remain for future reference up while we figure out how to move forward.

in the meantime, remember what you've learned here, and go share it with a friend.

til then...yours in all things pleasurable,

:~::~ ms. bliss ~::~:

peace, blessings, greetings and salutations!

we hope summer brought you bliss beyond measure and peace beyond passion.

the long, hot days are a small price to pay for the renewal brought by sun-soaked skin, wouldn't you agree?

the harvest season has inspired a new look, and the will to bring you more good stuff. keep your eye on the sidebars, and if you haven't joined us on facebook or twitter, what are you waiting for?

thanks for hanging in there with us, beloveds! stay tuned for more sweet stuff...

in abundance,

:~: ms. bliss :~:

the black love crisis - conclusion

greetings, beloveds. we hope you enjoyed the "black love crisis" series.  ten weeks is a goodly time to prove a point, don'tcha think?

so, is there really a crisis of black love? in some ways, yes. there are problems and deep wounds; there is pain and mistrust.  we must acknowledge and reckon with the difficult in order to effectively and deeply heal ourselves and our community.

however, we hope that by echoing the voices of some black women -- voices of reason, caring, light and abundance for all -- we have offered a glimpse into something beyond the media hype.

we encourage you to keep searching and discussing in your own circles. keep reaching for new ways of living and loving.

keep questioning. keep evolving.

in loving solidarity,

~::~ ms. bliss ~::~

call for submissions!

the illustrious folks at super hussy media are accepting submissions for a new project.

read on!

The Talk: Women of Color On Sex is an exploration of how self-identified women across the Diaspora came to learn about sex and what it meant to have a sexual relationship. Did your mom, aunty or tia sit you down? Were your homegirls or hermanas responsible for giving you the blow by blow? Was Cinemax After Dark, Youtube or a telenovela your sex ed instructor?

Super Hussy Media seeks fresh and daring writers who can coax the reader into an intimate understanding of not only how they learned about sex, but how that knowledge impacted their sexual exploration. We want submissions that are funny, sad, enraging, and transformational.

The Talk is ultimately about our testimonies regarding how we were taught or chose to learn about our sexuality. How we are continuing to learn, lessons we wish we could share with other women of Color, introspective activities of reflection. This is all about us.

deadline is 7.1.2010. the rest of the information you need is here.

hop to it!

it's been a long time...

hey, beloveds!

don't wanna make any promises, but we're hoping to get back to blogging very, very soon. maybe even give this place a new paint job. we'll see what happens.

in the meantime - as always - we wish you love, peace, bliss & abundance!

stay tuned!

ankh, wedja, seneb,

..~..ms bliss..~...

love for haiti / amor pour ayiti

yanvalou dance from haiti...celebrating the rada nation



to learn more about how you can help haiti, see the help haiti/aidez ayiti section that's been added to the sidebar at the top left of the screen.  

vive l'ayiti! l'union fait la force!

welcome to 2010!

happy new year, beloveds! may you always be surrounded by love, bliss, abundance and peace.

make 2010 a wonderful year!

onward and upward... {myspace account deletion}

greetings & salutations, beloveds!

for those of you who found us via myspace, please know that page will be deleted no later than 1/1/2010, but very likely some time on new year's eve.*

if you haven't already, join the party on facebook, twitter {we'll follow back as long as you're a real person!}, or follow us thru your blogspot account for instant updates.

as always, thank you for reading, discussing, loving and being with us.  

love & light now and always,

:~: ms. bliss :~:



*and, for the 3 of you who might have been reading the myspace blog, all the old entries are now here.  the twitter feed will update you on these writings as well. 

blessed solstice!

may the return of the sun bring innumerable blessings!

hiatus

loved ones, please enjoy the archives, books, blogs and other goodies until nanowrimo has concluded (nov. 30 or thereabouts).

we may manage to scrape up some goodies between now and then, but no promises!

your loving proprietress,

~:~ ms. bliss ~:~

a {somewhat} new project

greetings, beloveds!  a brief announcement...

in the name of evolution and aesthetic control, your proprietress has found a new home for her poetic things.  writing from the seat of bliss has moved from myspace to blogspot.

the myspace page will remain as a way to keep in touch with people, places and ideas that haven't migrated to twitter or elsewhere, there just won't be any fancy blogs to see.

hope you all are well and feeling wonderful.

bless,

~:~ ms. bliss ~:~

baby makes me

the woman who brought you the black./womyn. project and fly poet staceyann chin are collaborating on a new project, baby makes me.

here is their call for participants and support, as seen on sparkle's blog...

PLEASE POST ON YOUR BLOGS, SITES, LISTS etc. Help us reach the folks we need.

Many of you have already heard about our film, Baby Makes me. For you, this is an update. But for the folks who have not heard Tiona and I are making a documentary together.

For years, I have wanted to become a mother. But the timing has never been quite right. Either my partners weren’t ready, or I was scared, or I couldn’t find a donor or something. There was always something. By the time I rolled into 35, I was tired of being afraid, tired of waiting for the right woman with whom it would be the right time, tired of watching every Christmas roll over another Birthday, tired of watching my peers get knocked up and months later appear with the most amazing little bundle of potential—I was tired of waiting and ready to make the leap, and I was ready to make it alone.

I began the research with great heart—only to discover that there were little no resources for women who either wanted to, or had to embark on the journey of motherhood in the solo. There were one or two essays and a few books on artificial insemination, and some were even directed at lesbians—but most, if not all assumed that the mother would be operating from inside of a partnership, be that partnership heterosexual or homosexual.

The idea for the film came out of a conversation with Tiona to film the pregnancy/labor, assuming that there would be one—because no one, least of all me, knows if my body will cooperate in doing such a thing as conceiving. I envisioned Tiona asking a couple of heartfelt questions and spinning the light to create a high-end home-movie I could show my child at eighteen. She agreed and we began to flesh out some ideas. That conversation, coupled with the lack of resource material out there spurred the project now known as Baby Makes Me.

Baby Makes Me, a feature-length documentary, will explore the challenges and triumphs of Single Motherhood, particularly in the lives of women of color, lesbians and women who make a conscious choice to be mothers in the absence of intimate/romantic partnerships with men.

The film will use as its narrative skeleton, the journey of activist/writer/performer, Staceyann Chin, as she navigates her personal choices with reference to motherhood. Author of the memoir, The Other Side of Paradise, Chin now brings her talents to the medium of film as writer and Executive Producer.

The Director, Tiona McClodden, is a champion of promoting positive images of women in media. Her last film, “Black./womyn.:conversations…”, garnered much respect in both accolades and awards. She now brings her attention to the issue of women and motherhood.

It is our intent to interview a series of women from all the demographic cross-sections. Issues of financial, ethical, medical, cultural, and political relevance will be fore-grounded. We hope that clinics, hospitals, families, children of Black lesbians, straight Black women who want children, mothers of gay women who lament the loss of grandchildren when they discover their daughters are gay, and anybody who seeks to have a clearer picture of the family that includes gay women will see that our lives go on, that women who are single, be they lesbian, or Black or poor, can and do have babies, and that we are simply another group of people who live and laugh and grow. We hope to paint the subjects in the film as human and likable characters who, though they are dealing with slightly different challenges than the women we traditionally see as mothers, are not very different from any other group of people considering parenthood.

We are going to need all the help we can get. We need help in reaching out to folks who would like to be interviewed; other single mothers, women who have been inseminated, women who are thinking about it, women who work in the medical field, women who work in the administrative world of policy etc. We are on the hunt for the all the voices that could represent our story in the film.

We have recently been awarded a grant from ASTREA Lesbian Foundation for Justice and are set to move forward. We write to you now, in the hope that you will want to be involved in this groundbreaking project in whatever capacity you choose: we need space to host fundraisers and screening and other events connected to the film. We need people to fundraise, to promote the film, to host community talks, to suggest topics for discussion in the film—we need to secure additional investors, we need the help of people who are experts in the business of making films, and we need the counter-perspective of people who have never made a film. We are hoping to make this a community effort; from start to finish we want the ideas to be representative of the various factions in our diverse village of the women who mother our children. If you are sure you are unable to do any of the above, we only ask that you make room for our fliers, questionnaires, invitations, and other promotional materials for the film.

We would be honored if you would join us as we attempt to break more ceilings, level more walls to make room those of us who are too frequently left out of the history and imagination of the world we live in. We look forward to a spirited journey with you, from the opening shot to the ending credits—complete with your name listed among the most stalwart of our supporters.

Thanks again to the women who have already offered assistance. We look forward to your being a part of our process.

Staceyann Chin
Executive Producer/Writer, “Baby Makes Me”
Tiona McClodden
Director/Producer, “Baby Makes Me”

Please send all inquiries and requests to: babymakesme@gmail.com

full disclosure

beloveds,

sometimes you forget your bliss.

there can be many reasons for this.

life can, very simply, get in the way: family emergencies, the needs of babies, stress at work or school...

there are situations where we give a little too much, work a little too hard. it's entirely possible to forget to hold on to our gooey, sticky sweet center. and that neglect can even be necessary to get us through a particular challenge.

your proprietress, obviously, is above none of this. so this is a message for us all:

forgive yourself.

if you find yourself unhappy, under-loved, overworked, exhausted, it's ok.

forgive yourself.

if you've been letting someone else have the big piece of chicken* (or tofu), painting your house other people's colors, forsaking your naked full moon dance, it's fine.

forgive yourself.

all is in divine order, and there's beauty in the breakdown.

as soon as you've realized you've given and/or done too much, you can always stop, relocate your center, and change.

don't berate yourself; the why's and what for's will become clear soon enough. it is enough to know when it's time to pack your things and walk away.

in solidarity, with love,

~:~ ms. bliss ~:~


*copyright, ms. oyin

it's been a long time...

good morning, lovelies!

so sorry to leave you waiting. your proprietress has by no means abandoned this space, but life in all its myriad forms has been very efficient at distracting her from this project and bliss-making in general {a fabulous vacation notwithstanding}.

however, i hope that the dry spell has allowed you to check out some of the good stuff on the site, inspired you to get your own thing going, or led you to a great beach book.

we hope to emerge from the abyss sooner rather than later...maybe even with a new look, who knows.

in the meantime, don't forget to pat your pussy and remember your role.

yours in love & deliciousness,

~:~ ms. bliss ~:~

come see us on twitter!

beloveds, the mistress of the house has decided to dedicate a specific twitter feed to this wonderful morsel of cyberspace.

if you'd like to recieve updates each time there's a new post, follow the shack here.

pardon our dust as construction continues...and, as always, thanks for reading!

yours in love & body glitter,

~:~ ms. bliss ~:~

starvation that feeds the soul

been slow around here lately, we know. between real-life-grown-folk obligations and all kinds of energy drains, blogging about love & happiness has become far more difficult than it should be.

so, in the interest of bliss awareness, your impassioned proprietress is planning a physical cleanse and a news fast.

well-loved as democracy now!, wpfw, blogs that expose and inform, and even the local news are, enough is enough.

it's hard out here for an empath.

it is hoped that clearing out the cobwebs and listening to only good people and good news will open the road to inspiration.

and, of course, there's always twitter.

with love & in solidarity,

~:~ ms. bliss ~:~

quickie!

in case you needed another reason to love your mother...

strive to love, respect and honor iya aiye and encourage others to do the same.

please excuse the delay...

greetings, goddesses & gods!

the 9-5 has been incessantly demanding, so your devoted proprietress has been otherwise engaged. but we're still here and planning to update soon.

until then, explore the links, comment on past entries, enjoy the music, and generally pleasure yourselves.

love is highly contagious. catch it!

pleasurably,

ms. bliss

the P word

ok. remember the footnote in this post about linking to porn? well, here's the long version of that. with more footnotes!!

you may have already noticed that we provide several links to other sites and blogs that contain adult material. however, linking to sex workers, erotic photography, sex toy sellers and other adult-themed bloggers is not necessarily the same as sending you to videos of folks gettin' it in.

this particular blog was conceived with the intent of being tongue-in-cheek, informative, and gynocentric. most mainstream pornography is none of those things*. it is hoped, however, that some of the content here would empower womyn and those who love them to begin or continue their exploration of their personal pleasure points--an enterprise that could most certainly be facilitated by other bloggers, personal toys, erotica, etc.

whether or not you and your partner(s) enjoy porn, some of you might agree that all the "see this brown bitch get rammed in two holes!!" stuff can be, at minimum, cringe-inducing when you're just tryin' to get to the good stuff.

we won't even delve into the near constant fetishization of colored bodies, or this will turn into a book.

similarly, erotica is explicitly sexual, but most of it is written with women in mind--often by women--whether the characters are engaging in hetero activity or not.

furthermore, many--if not most--sex workers are women. challenging the pervasive image of these women as mentally ill, chemically addicted "whores" worthy of abuse, degradation and ridicule** instead of full fledged human beings who provide a necessary and obviously lucrative service is part of the reason sex positive feminism, sexology, and similar ideologies/disciplines {not to mention this blog and others like it} exist.

when we find women who are doing this sort of work--particularly when they have transitioned from the "unacceptable" {e.g., porn} to the acceptable {research, advanced degrees, etc}--we think it's important to link to them as a means of disbelieving the hype***.

so, to summarize, we don't link to explicit, hardcore pornography out of respect for those queens who may be offended by the general, mainstream portrayals of women in that genre. if you love it, keep on loving it. you just won't find it here.

{google is your friend! there are also LOTS of free porn blogs on blogger...but you didn't hear that from us...}

feel free to weigh in on the comments section...remember that we love it when you read, but we simply go to pieces when you talk to us!


*well, maybe tongue-in-cheek. the "acting" can be downright hilarious. no one believes it. i mean, really. let's not even get started on some of the extended rap videos certain "urban" smut directors are aiming for these days...

**that is not to say that prostitution motivated by addiction and mental illness is not problematic, but we'd do well to examine the issues behind why these women are addicted/ill and not simply focus on how they support--and i use that term very loosely in comparison to, say, call girls, porn actors and exotic dancers--themselves. it's layered, complicated, and messy, and binary thinking gets us nowhere.

***see annie sprinkle's brilliant whores are my heroes. darkdaughta is another blogger who has some great writing around sex work and related issues here and here. furthermore, sexology may sound funny, but why shouldn't we study the ways we love and enjoy each other? isn't that how we all get here?

know thyself

today we felt compelled to share this beautiful discourse on love by ms. b.l.u of organik b.l.u.

this was originally posted on myspace, but you can also find this collective and its creatrix at organikblu.com or join their ning network.

~*~~*~*~~*~*~~*~*~~*~*~~*~*~~*~*~~*~*~~*~*~~*~*~~*~*~~*~*~~*~*~

You cannot fully experience love in this life until you know what love is. To "Know Thyself" means to know it at every level, not just your physical and emotional levels. From this foundation you can then truly begin your journey towards a fulfilling relationship with one or many souls.

Every single one of you is a perfect being of love within. We are equal and loving beings who hold the potential to share this love with anyone we so choose. This being understood, let's erase a universal mistake in human thinking: "To have love, we must find love." There is no finding love, only expressing love! To find love suggests we are currently without it, and this is impossible for we are light beings, which are all love.

Let me give you an example of this. We all wake up from time to time and feel happiness or joy at the world (some people feel this all the time, and some once in a lifetime). We bounce out of bed and greet people with more love expressed. Now, we really know the world certainly did not grow more beautiful overnight! What happened is you allowing yourself to let your love flow from within. That is all.

Two or more people do not create love, only express it, depending on their own ability to let love flow from within themselves. You cannot create what already exists in its entirety. What appears to be created is really just two people sharing what is already within themselves and the end result is called a relationship. Ịf one is unable to feel love, it is because he or she is blocking what is within them. Then they mistakenly blame the other person for not being lovable or for creating this block.

The highest mind shares their inner love and takes responsibility for their own inability to feel that love. Do not confuse unlovable behavior with your own inability to express love. The people around you are always doing unloving behavior for they are not aware of their own inner love to some degree. This is why we were given the ability to have children. For this was as close as many of us would get to dealing with unlovable behavior (not following rules, outbursts, unreasonable behavior, etc.) and still expressing love! We could start to see what the expressing of unconditional love looked like. But you create this same situation in a relationship between adults, and bam, the "love" is seemingly gone. It is never gone, just utterly repressed and blocked. We were also given Spiritual Masters in order to observe their unfettered expression of love: Christ and Buddha are two examples. Their ability simply came from seeing all of us as "children" of God. While they may not love our behavior, they never stop loving us. This is Christ Consciousness love.

The reason that the term soul mate is skewed in concept is that people think they can only feel that love with one special person. In fact, they go through life looking for this soul mate and often end it in grave disappointment and reflect this disappointment with less than loving behavior towards their current mate. If we were unfettered with all of our veils, we could love completely anyone. When I go out in public, I do not say, "I will not treat this person with love because they are not my friend, family, or lover." I treat them with the same respect and love as I would my dearest friend, for underneath it all, and at the highest level, they are.

If we were to speak of something that feels like a soul mate love, or a split apart, it is generally this: People can spend many lives and dimensions together by choice. Through these lives they start to resonate more closely with each other. A history is created, and deeply seated emotions are built. Each subsequent life, their ties grow stronger and their desire to be with each other builds and it subconsciously returns. Because what we resonate with we attract, we inevitably will be thrown into each other's paths on this plane. Best friends, extremely close siblings, and yes, even your closest lover, are often these people. I refer to these people as being from the same "soul group." Clusters of souls that resonate with each other, and seek their own company over and over. And within these soul groups can be the closest thing to a soul mate, which is two souls holding the highest desire to express their inner love with each other. You could say this is a soul group within a soul group.

I am speaking ideals here. This is what I, and all of us, hope to aspire to. Do I make mistakes? Or course, and I still do in abundance. But I keep these ideals in my heart and strive for them daily. I am constantly adjusting myself to reflect my higher self. I like to say I'm a Work In Progress! I do get to witness the success of this every so often. I have this girlfriend by the name of Trina that was and is in my soul group. The moment we met, we resonated like I had never resonated with a human being. We chose to be together in every way, including working in the same office at Microsoft for three years! I loved her with no conditions and no blocks. No matter what she said, did or didn't do in our relationship, I loved her. Because of her own blocks and feelings of guilt, she withdrew from much of her circle of acquaintances (including me) and I have not seen her in years. My friends always ask why I keep her picture around the house for she has abandoned me, but I tell them that I love her without conditions. It doesn't matter what she does, only that I love her. Now, while she has shut me out on a physical level, she cannot do this on a subtle level. Her awareness is not yet developed, but mine is. I see her all the time in the higher planes and we talk for hours and she tells me what she is doing. Our desire to be together, as a soul group member, supersedes any conscious block that she has created. And when I come back from a visit with her, I will hear through the grapevine exactly what she was telling me personally in these other places. So you see, her love is always there, but her ability to let it flow became restricted. And yes, I may never see her again in this life, but I know for sure we will in the next....

So remember, you are a being of light comprised of love. To know love is to know thyself. If you seek outside of yourself, it should be to share, not to find.