love for haiti / amor pour ayiti

yanvalou dance from haiti...celebrating the rada nation



to learn more about how you can help haiti, see the help haiti/aidez ayiti section that's been added to the sidebar at the top left of the screen.  

vive l'ayiti! l'union fait la force!

the word

today's word comes from poetess extraordinaire, nikki giovanni:

the butterfly

those things
which you so laughingly call 
hands are in fact two 
brown butterflies fluttering 
across the pleasure 
they give 
my body 

[21 feb 71]

be a g, redux

looks like the daily beast has chimed in on the alleged g spot controversy.

we'll just quote the illustrious lady bi on this one:

i'm SO over this g-spot research stuff. i get why it may matter to some docs, but why do we always have to theorize/pathologize our pleasure? when will we realize our bodies are not all the same and get over it? if we find pleasure in our bodies in ways docs don't understand, good!

blaming the victim in dubai

disclaimer: we understand the sun is essentially britain's equivalent to the new york post, and that the reporting here is filled with almost as many "-isms" as the story itself.

but this incident is so indicative of the ways in which kyriarchy and the repression of full and healthy sexuality hurts everyone while simultaneously empowering dangerous, pathological behavior that we had to share.

A British [cis] woman on a break in Dubai went to police after being raped - but SHE was arrested for having illegal sex.

The 23-year-old Londoner was attacked by a waiter in a hotel toilet after celebrating her engagement to her boyfriend with drinks.

But after she admitted boozing and sharing a hotel room with her fiancé, cops in the strict Islamic state arrested her for "illegal drinking" outside licensed premises and having sex outside marriage.

Her 44-year-old fiancé, also from London, was charged with the same offences. And both were thrown in police cells by officers who paid little heed to the rape. [note added - presumed due to noted fear of pregnancy]

plus, you'd think people of faith would be more compassionate to the suffering of others, not to mention fully devoted to the overall uplift of those who carry the future of the culture, i.e., the feminine principle.

but that's a whole other conversation.

cheating. with yourself.

came across this lovely nugget of an article yesterday.  we'll wait while you go read.

...finished? well, allow me to retort.

WHAT??

Just imagining him there in his office on his own, it seemed like the ultimate act of desperation, something you'd only do if you didn't have a partner.

this? still? in 2010?

it's a safe bet that any adult in a long term relationship has had the "is porn cheating?" conversation. but a larger question is: why is fantasy that stays fantasy such a factor?

all things being equal, actual sex-with-someone-else infidelity can be a problem. from the physical ramifications {unplanned pregnancy, disease} to the emotional {loss of trust, stress}, the other partner can be seriously hurt by their mate's choices. not to mention that the process of getting physically--or even emotionally--involved with an outside partner while involved in a perceived-to-be monogamous relationship takes time and effort.

finding internet porn takes almost no effort at all. flashing back to a sexy memory doesn't take much, either.  and neither will give you herpes. 

so you relieve some stress, go home {or to sleep} happy, and everyone's...fine. kind of.

so when did monogamy come to mean colonization of the mind?  and why is masturbation still being coined an "act of desperation" instead of a teaching tool, self pleasure monitor, and/or shared sensual activity? 

oh, right.

well, at least there's a happy ending {pun intended}:

Colin assured Mia that his preference was to be with her and that masturbation was just an act of release when she wasn't around. "Then I showed her that this was something we could do together," Colin says.

Their sex life has improved, and the added benefit is that Mia no longer has to worry about why he's staying late at work. {emphasis added - this is often the difference between a fetish/attachment to porn and a bit of fun}

yay, mia!

here at the shack, one of our mantras is, "know your limits".  if porn is gross, that's ok.  if you consider it cheating, that's ok, too.

our hope, though, is that you will deeply examine how and why you have those attitudes.  question them.  hold them up to the light.  then determine whether or not they're worth holding on to.

quickie!

beautiful erotic photos by saddi

{most are NSFW!}

welcome to 2010!

happy new year, beloveds! may you always be surrounded by love, bliss, abundance and peace.

make 2010 a wonderful year!

a special new year....

december 31st is set up to be a very special evening: a blue moon coupled with a lunar eclipse.

this means a lot of extra power, so before you go out and grab that midnight champagne, try reviving your favorite full moon ritual or create a new one to cement those resolutions, prayers, healings and incantations.

and, as always, it's never a bad idea to review a good, detailed monthly forecast {one of our favorites is astrologyzone.com} to find out what the blue moon has in store for you.

happy conjuring!

onward and upward... {myspace account deletion}

greetings & salutations, beloveds!

for those of you who found us via myspace, please know that page will be deleted no later than 1/1/2010, but very likely some time on new year's eve.*

if you haven't already, join the party on facebook, twitter {we'll follow back as long as you're a real person!}, or follow us thru your blogspot account for instant updates.

as always, thank you for reading, discussing, loving and being with us.  

love & light now and always,

:~: ms. bliss :~:



*and, for the 3 of you who might have been reading the myspace blog, all the old entries are now here.  the twitter feed will update you on these writings as well. 

sexy news

so where are all the scandalous women? alternet seeks answers.

single and "of a certain age"? check out this newsweek article.

empowerher gives some suggestions for making a toast to love in 2010.

you can't buy love, but apparently you can choose it. agree or disagree?