4.28.2010
4.26.2010
the black love crisis*
we came across this gem on single black male via twitter**.
first, we'd like to applaud "veronica" and "bahama" for their comments. right on for illustrating the possibilities of a partnership model!
but the main question the blog raises is this: with all the things black folks have to work through in their intimate relationships - from within and without - is operating within these rigid gender roles really the ultimate way to repair our hearts and homes, particularly when those roles are not necessarily reflective of our original culture, values and history?
in this 21st century world where women are {blessedly} able to educate themselves to their heart's delight and pursue their ambitions while single or partnered, is it a bad thing that we need more in a partner/mate than the ability to bring home the bacon and "wear the pants"? why aren't men doing more questioning around who they were taught to be?
furthermore, when entering what we hope is meant to be an egalitarian, intimate relationship between two consenting adults, why are we ever concerned with who's leading who instead of discerning who has the necessary skills, gifts and life experience in a particular area, and working out their lives around that?
in case you missed the memo, sexism hurts us all.
when we subscribe to these sorts of rules, standards, and assumptions without question - and, even accounting for humor, the level of assumption here is simply astounding - followed by disdain for those who question that acceptance, we turn women into barefoot, pregnant portraits of intellectual and emotional frustration destined to couple with preening, self-important peacocks of men convinced they have the right to the big piece of chicken {we kid} and to rule with an iron fist {not so funny}.
wouldn't it be a joy to couple with a focus on aligning minds, hearts and destinies? what would happen if we were allowed to be our whole selves, regardless of gender?
why not a world with nurturing, intellectually brilliant working mothers who will raise equally brilliant babies? and there's certainly nothing wrong with a man who can routinely cook, clean, change a diaper and still put a righteous cap in someone's ass for stepping to his fam.
now, we are not denying that men and women are different. however, we do question the way these differences have been upheld and reinforced in societal contexts to the detriment of women and children, the unearned privilege inherent in maleness and masculine identification, and the artificial imposition of these {largely western european} norms on people of african descent.
beloveds: do what works for you. know what you need. learn to be the best partner you can be. how much of a "woman" or "man" you are in the eyes of a culture with a dysfunctional lens in such matters should be the least of your worries.
if we can let the arbitrary notions go, maybe we'll all get a little closer to the love we deserve and make the world a little better in the process.
*considering all the recent lamentations around the state of black womanhood and the dismal prospects for {a particular definition of} black love in general, thismay will become a series. every friday, we'll be posting "alternative" viewpoints on black love. follow us on twitter to get the latest & greatest.
**this is not a blog we frequent, so this commentary isn't meant to be a damning indictment of all their content. e.g., a quick search yielded this, so obviously the brothas have a sense of humor about themselves, too {questionable criteria for the "simp" and the "effeminate" notwithstanding...}.
first, we'd like to applaud "veronica" and "bahama" for their comments. right on for illustrating the possibilities of a partnership model!
but the main question the blog raises is this: with all the things black folks have to work through in their intimate relationships - from within and without - is operating within these rigid gender roles really the ultimate way to repair our hearts and homes, particularly when those roles are not necessarily reflective of our original culture, values and history?
in this 21st century world where women are {blessedly} able to educate themselves to their heart's delight and pursue their ambitions while single or partnered, is it a bad thing that we need more in a partner/mate than the ability to bring home the bacon and "wear the pants"? why aren't men doing more questioning around who they were taught to be?
furthermore, when entering what we hope is meant to be an egalitarian, intimate relationship between two consenting adults, why are we ever concerned with who's leading who instead of discerning who has the necessary skills, gifts and life experience in a particular area, and working out their lives around that?
in case you missed the memo, sexism hurts us all.
when we subscribe to these sorts of rules, standards, and assumptions without question - and, even accounting for humor, the level of assumption here is simply astounding - followed by disdain for those who question that acceptance, we turn women into barefoot, pregnant portraits of intellectual and emotional frustration destined to couple with preening, self-important peacocks of men convinced they have the right to the big piece of chicken {we kid} and to rule with an iron fist {not so funny}.
wouldn't it be a joy to couple with a focus on aligning minds, hearts and destinies? what would happen if we were allowed to be our whole selves, regardless of gender?
why not a world with nurturing, intellectually brilliant working mothers who will raise equally brilliant babies? and there's certainly nothing wrong with a man who can routinely cook, clean, change a diaper and still put a righteous cap in someone's ass for stepping to his fam.
now, we are not denying that men and women are different. however, we do question the way these differences have been upheld and reinforced in societal contexts to the detriment of women and children, the unearned privilege inherent in maleness and masculine identification, and the artificial imposition of these {largely western european} norms on people of african descent.
beloveds: do what works for you. know what you need. learn to be the best partner you can be. how much of a "woman" or "man" you are in the eyes of a culture with a dysfunctional lens in such matters should be the least of your worries.
if we can let the arbitrary notions go, maybe we'll all get a little closer to the love we deserve and make the world a little better in the process.
*considering all the recent lamentations around the state of black womanhood and the dismal prospects for {a particular definition of} black love in general, this
**this is not a blog we frequent, so this commentary isn't meant to be a damning indictment of all their content. e.g., a quick search yielded this, so obviously the brothas have a sense of humor about themselves, too {questionable criteria for the "simp" and the "effeminate" notwithstanding...}.
the insanity of rape culture
although we mentioned it very briefly, we didn't want this gem to get lost in the shuffle.
the insanity report practically drips testosterone on a normal day {not that there's anything wrong with that}, but this analysis of jason whitlock's dangerously inept defense of a football player accused of sexual assualt is spot on.
the sugar shack gives props to brothas who get it, especially knowing that sometimes they're the only voices folks like whitlock listen to.
thanks, y'all.
for more on rape culture, see here, here and here
the insanity report practically drips testosterone on a normal day {not that there's anything wrong with that}, but this analysis of jason whitlock's dangerously inept defense of a football player accused of sexual assualt is spot on.
the sugar shack gives props to brothas who get it, especially knowing that sometimes they're the only voices folks like whitlock listen to.
thanks, y'all.
for more on rape culture, see here, here and here
4.24.2010
quickie!
have we ever mentioned that we love soulbrother v.2?
well, we do.
and his new entry about black women being the new black is one of the reasons why. go read it!
well, we do.
and his new entry about black women being the new black is one of the reasons why. go read it!
4.23.2010
our injured insults
have you ever noticed that some of our most stinging insults revolve around our genitalia?
cunt
prick
pussy
dick
we can do better than that, can't we? why do we insist on maligning the very parts that bring us so much pleasure, not to mention bring us into the world? they should be the last aspects of our bodies that we relegate to such a lowly status.
in particular, the notion of a "pussy" being a weak, floundering and easily manipulated individual flies in the face of all the wonderful things the yoni actually does--from menstruation to birth and everything inbetween. but we digress.
we can hear some of you thinking, "well, what about rising above our lower/animal nature?" and all that.
well, that can be a valid point. we're not suggesting that you be led by your desires in a singular, detrimental way. however, sexual energy can be diffused throughout the body to heal, enliven and strengthen*. the willful separation of these energies from our higher, more ethereal ones is what has caused the most confusion, not desire itself.
so, the next time you need to insult someone--which should be rare, but if it's well deserved, have at it!--think about the words you're using.
if they have to do with something you were just enjoying a few hours or days earlier, think twice.
your djed deserves better, and so does the gateway to life.
*do your homework re: semen retention. although the benefits have long been revered in several cultures, it's also physically beneficial to let go.
cunt
prick
pussy
dick
we can do better than that, can't we? why do we insist on maligning the very parts that bring us so much pleasure, not to mention bring us into the world? they should be the last aspects of our bodies that we relegate to such a lowly status.
in particular, the notion of a "pussy" being a weak, floundering and easily manipulated individual flies in the face of all the wonderful things the yoni actually does--from menstruation to birth and everything inbetween. but we digress.
we can hear some of you thinking, "well, what about rising above our lower/animal nature?" and all that.
well, that can be a valid point. we're not suggesting that you be led by your desires in a singular, detrimental way. however, sexual energy can be diffused throughout the body to heal, enliven and strengthen*. the willful separation of these energies from our higher, more ethereal ones is what has caused the most confusion, not desire itself.
so, the next time you need to insult someone--which should be rare, but if it's well deserved, have at it!--think about the words you're using.
if they have to do with something you were just enjoying a few hours or days earlier, think twice.
your djed deserves better, and so does the gateway to life.
*do your homework re: semen retention. although the benefits have long been revered in several cultures, it's also physically beneficial to let go.
4.16.2010
it's been a long time...
hey, beloveds!
don't wanna make any promises, but we're hoping to get back to blogging very, very soon. maybe even give this place a new paint job. we'll see what happens.
in the meantime - as always - we wish you love, peace, bliss & abundance!
stay tuned!
ankh, wedja, seneb,
..~..ms bliss..~...
don't wanna make any promises, but we're hoping to get back to blogging very, very soon. maybe even give this place a new paint job. we'll see what happens.
in the meantime - as always - we wish you love, peace, bliss & abundance!
stay tuned!
ankh, wedja, seneb,
..~..ms bliss..~...
4.02.2010
3.15.2010
twinkle, twinkle
so remember when we mentioned the linger mint? well, now there's vajazzling!
{yes, you read that right. as in bedazzling.}
for a hilariously critical take on this whole debacle, check out the washington post's sexist beatdown.
to be clear, we support adornment of all kinds. but we have to agree with amanda and sady when they say if this is what it takes for your partner to fearlessly look your honeypot in the face, there might be a problem...
{yes, you read that right. as in bedazzling.}
for a hilariously critical take on this whole debacle, check out the washington post's sexist beatdown.
to be clear, we support adornment of all kinds. but we have to agree with amanda and sady when they say if this is what it takes for your partner to fearlessly look your honeypot in the face, there might be a problem...
3.14.2010
in the waiting room...
"window seat"
erykah badu
So, presently I'm standing
Here right now
You're so demanding
Tell me what u want from me
Concluding
Concentrating on my music, lover, and my babies
Makes me wanna ask the lady for a ticket outta town
So can I get a window seat
Don't want nobody next to me
I just want a ticket outta town
A look around
And a safe touch down
Can I get a window seat
Don't want nobody next to me
I just want a chance to fly
A chance to cry
And a long bye bye..
But I need u to want me
Need you to miss me
I need your attention
I need you next me
I need someone to clap for me
I need your direction
Somebody say come back
Come back baby come back
I want u to need me
Come back come back baby come back
Come back come back baby come back
Come back come back baby come back
So, in my mind I'm tusslin'
Back and forth 'tween here and hustlin'
I don't wanna time travel no mo
I wanna be here
I'm thinking
On this porch I'm rockin'
Back and forth like lightning hopkins
If anybody speak to scotty
Tell him beam me up..
So can I get a window seat
Don't want nobody next to me
I just want a ticket outta town
A look around
And a safe touch down
Window seat
Don't want nobody next to me
I just want a chance to fly
A chance to cry
And a long bye bye..
But I need you to miss me
Need somebody come get me
Need your attention
Need your energy yes I do
Need someone to clap for me
Need your affection
Somebody say come back
Come back baby come back
I want u to need me
Come back come back baby come back
Come back come back baby come back
Come back come back baby come back
But can I get a window seat
Don't want nobody next to me
I just want a ticket outta town
A look around
And a safe touch down
I just need a chance to fly
A chance to cry
And a long
Bye bye..
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